You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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