Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize