oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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