So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
