what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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