using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
