you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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