Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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