Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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