Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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