I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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