That's intense
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
