you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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