well most of my day revolves around power hour
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
