Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
