Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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