thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
