Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
