I looked at my own cervix.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
