So drunk its hurt
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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