another moral hangover. fuck.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
