Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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