Welp...herpes.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
