he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
