I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
