question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
