and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
