I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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