it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize