That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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