You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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