Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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