You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
