oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
