i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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