i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
