my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
