I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
