you would pick up someone in the library
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
