the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
