Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
