No, drunk sperm still make babies.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
