what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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