woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
