addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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