Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
