I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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