I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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