...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
