Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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