I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
