I am spending my child support on dildos
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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