No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
