Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
