it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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