just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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