I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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