I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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