mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
