People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
