what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
