no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
