ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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