I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I want to make a zoo with you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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