So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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