Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize