those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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