just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
