I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
