O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
