Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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