he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
