Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
