Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
