so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
