He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
