return my video game
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
and you fell through a lawn chair
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
