WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
